


Fraying at the Edges

by SilentSlayer



Series: Dark Twisted Madness [4]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Because my name is Siletslayer and I do This, Darkness, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotions, Envy Demons (Dragon Age), F/M, Feelings, Fuck Canon, I torture my characters, Pain, Psychological Torture, Templars (Dragon Age), Temporarily Unrequited Love, some canon divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 11:45:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5742625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentSlayer/pseuds/SilentSlayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After meeting the Envy demon, Alise Lavellan is starting to unravel. She has to get back to Haven, and Cullen. The alliance with the Templars has been secured, but she needs the one who has stolen her heart.<br/>Cole, as always, is there to help. </p><p>The Events after Therinfal Redoubt as told from Cole's first person POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tension

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mayamelissa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayamelissa/gifts), [Eternal_Garbage_of_a_Spotless_Mind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternal_Garbage_of_a_Spotless_Mind/gifts), [Marika_Haliwell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marika_Haliwell/gifts).



> Thank the Maker, my writer's block has finally lifted!

Alise was taunt, like an overdrawn bow string. She could only flex so far until the strands started unraveling. She was already fraying at the edges. I hated to see her pain. I wanted to help.

The first night she started screaming, her friends came. I was there. I reached out to her, but even I could not cut through the dark nightmare. After that, the others ignored her, but I never could.

She wouldn’t speak to them about it. Her pain was too raw, too fresh. Like a wound, it festered and grew. She talked to me though. In the quiet of her tent, she told me everything. She didn’t want to close her eyes, but sleep would claim her eventually. Then, it would begin again. I tried to soothe her, but couldn't.

His name, she always called his name. Envy had tortured her with him. She had to see him alive. I could not stop that inferno, and until it was extinguished, she was trapped.  

She was pushing herself and everyone else. The Templars were left behind in her haste to return to Haven. I was always with her. She could sense me, and I her. After what Envy had done, we were permanently connected.

The ride back was silent, and I think she appreciated that. I kept myself hidden. They wouldn’t like me. I would frighten them. Alise couldn’t explain to me why, but I trusted her.

When she saw the village, she spurred her horse hard. Her eyes were wild, red hair blowing in the wind. The others were left far behind. They didn’t understand, they couldn’t. I had been there, and even I didn’t comprehend. The fire was engulfing her, and I had to let her burn.

There was a room, it was the War Room. She had told me it was where she met with the ones I had seen in Envy’s torment. He was there, waiting. He didn’t know how she needed that, the waiting.

I felt her relax when she walked in. She tried not to stare, but it calmed her to see him alive. I felt happy because she was happy. It was a nice feeling, being happy. Like sunshine and a cool breeze. It was my favorite one so far.  

Some were angry at her decision to ally the Templars, others were glad for it. He was glad, and I saw her smile. She had a nice smile, though she rarely used it. It was like a flower blooming, but she quickly closed again.  

She tried not to let them see her tension. The redhead, Leliana, when she spoke, Alise started shaking. She couldn’t forget. The blade across his throat, blood everywhere. It wasn’t real, and yet to her it was. She didn’t want Leliana there. She didn’t want the woman so close to him. Her thoughts were mixing, flashes of Envy. I had to stop it. She was drowning. I had to save her.

I didn’t think, just acted. I shouldn’t have appeared on the table, but I had to reach her.

Cassandra, the one who always felt like stone, drew her blade. He also pointed his sword at me, but Alise stopped them. They wanted to kill me. I don’t know why they wanted me dead, but she saved me.

The decision caused her pain though. He didn’t like Alise keeping me there. His voice showed his disapproval, and she flinched from it. So stern, like a lock without a key. She could be his key, but she was afraid. The things Envy showed her, she didn’t want to be that person. He had been in a cell, one she threw him in. It wasn’t true, but she couldn’t let it go.  

I wanted to reach out to her, hold her hand and say it was ok, but I didn’t do it. I don’t think she would have wanted that right then. I didn’t like how she was staring at the floor with sadness. Sadness felt like ice. The cold hurt me, but it hurt her more. I caused that hurt, because she wouldn’t let them have me.

I disappeared back to the shadows. She had enough problems without me. If she needed me, I was never far away. He was still angry, but it was less now that I was invisible.

His power still sought me. It could detect me, but it didn’t feel like Alise. She was soft and smooth, but he brushed against me in a rough way. I didn’t like it. Looking into him was like looking at the obsidian she had showed me. Sharp edges, black, but beautiful to the right person. She was that person for him.

They finished talking, and she wanted to leave quickly. Seeing him was unraveling her further. I thought it would help her, but it didn’t. More flashes, more memories. Envy’s voice, his voice. I could see it, feel it like hot wind against my skin. She was on fire again. Sweat on her brow. She needed to get away, and I knew exactly where she would go.     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is enjoying this short fic. I had never chosen the Templars before, and I did the Envy scene for the first time tonight. After sending MayaMelissa a bunch of messages about it (I was not happy), I finally calmed down and wrote this. Also Maya, you would be proud. I didn't get lost. I did, however, yell at the TV a lot.  
> I had to do this from Cole's POV. He's so much fun, and Maya loves the Cinnabun.  
> Alise Lavellan is my Inky for this play-through. Her name is an anagram of Elias from one of Maya's stories (I love you, my dear). Not sure she is going to romance Cullen this time (I have to eventually romance Solas for the achievement *pukes*), but I love our favorite Commander and was rather horrified after watching Envy torture Alise with him. (Yes I took it personal)  
> So anyways, this is for MayaMelissa, Garbage, and Marika. I know you three love Templars, Cullen, and a bit of character torture. If anyone else enjoys it then more happy for me!!!! 
> 
> Much Love,
> 
> SS


	2. Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cole doesn't understand. There's fire, and it burns. Why is she burning?  
> Cullen burns too. Can he help Alise?

I waited in her room. The door to the cabin banged against the wall when she entered. It was loud. She was crying. Crying was bitter, like lemons. I decided I hated lemons. 

Alise looked up and noticed me. She had known I would be there. I will always be there.

Her green eyes were shiny, and she came to sit on the bed beside me. I held her hand then. It made the crying stop. Now I felt water, cool and calm with just a slight ripple. Peace, that was what peace felt like.

I was used to being inside people, but I had never had someone inside me before. It was strange, but I wasn’t afraid. It was nice, and so was Alise. Somehow the Fade felt brighter, yet dimmer at the same time. The discord that pulled within me was less when she was close. It was the same for her.

“I’m sorry.” She could feel my regret, yet I wanted her to hear me say it. Regret, I wasn’t exactly sure what that was like. Maybe like thorns. Yes, thorns seemed right.

“It’s ok, Cole. I know you didn’t mean it.” She squeezed my hand, and there was sunshine again. I wanted her to have sunshine too, instead of the fire. I couldn’t understand what fire was. It was a mix of things: fear, hope, joy. I was still learning, and Alise wasn’t always clear. She was like a mirror, but sometimes the mirror was cloudy. 

“He’s worried about you. He’s coming here. Cassandra said something. He’s burning as well.” She tensed, every muscle in her body freezing. Why did Cassandra tell them about the screaming?

Panic was new to me, and it was a sound. It cracked like her lightning magic, thunder rolling. I had to cover my ears. The loss of her touch lessened the emotion. I could think again. 

“Burning? Who is  _ he? _ ” Alise knew the second answer, but she asked anyways. She didn’t breathe as she waited. Maybe she thought if she asked, the answer would be different.

“Cullen.” The air rushed out of her. The shaking started again, painful ice. I had hurt her. 

“I...I’m not sure I can handle this right now.” She said this, but she meant him. The fraying was starting again, her edges blurry. 

The knock at the door made her jump. Her eyes pleaded with me. I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. 

“Herald, may I come in?” Silk over skin, that’s what his voice felt like to her. It cooled the raging inferno to a dull roar. She could breath a little better now.

“Y-yes, Commander.” Alise stood and looked around the room. She was so lost, so unsure. 

I disappeared when he came in. She needed me close, so I stayed invisible in the corner. I wanted to help. Things were more real to her when I was there. I didn’t want the fire to consume her. 

“Cassandra told me what happened at Therinfal Redoubt. She...said you weren’t the same since then. Are you alright?” His hand rubbed the back of his neck. Nervous, a rustling through the trees. Her magic had his powers occupied. I could finally see inside him. The obsidian was a little clearer, but not crystal like Alise.

“There was an Envy demon. I have slain many demons, but this one was different. It...showed me things.” The rustling was now a clamor as her nervousness joined his. I could barely hear them speak over it rushing in my head.

“What did it show you, Herald?” She wanted him to say her name. It made her feel better when he said her name. Why didn’t he do it?

Embarrassment, like strawberries tart and sweet. Her cheeks were red. I wanted her to tell him the truth. It would be better if she did. 

“I...it showed me you. Leliana, she…” Lemons again. I wanted to appear, but she didn’t want me to. “Envy took many forms. I watched it kill you. It took your face, your voice. It...it wanted to be me. I saw myself do things, terrible things.” 

Cullen stepped forward. I felt the thorns of regret as if it were my own. His emotions were so strong. The flames were growing. Why flames? What were they? Why was that feeling so hard to understand?

“Alise, I’m sorry.” He said her name, and she looked up at him. Cool breeze, she was happy. He made her happy. “I never asked you before, but why did you do this? You are a Dalish mage, yet you chose the Templars?” Curiosity was a funny one. It was playful and light. It reminded me of the other spirits I had known in the Fade. 

She stepped closer to him. Determination, that’s why Cassandra always felt like stone. Alise was determined, but I didn’t know why. 

“Because it’s what  _ you  _ wanted, Cullen.” I finally understood the fire. It was need, desire so strong it consumed all. She needed him.

“I...don’t know what to say.” Realization was quick, like walking under a waterfall. When he stepped out, the inferno consumed him too. 

He held her then, and she buried her face in his shoulder. Calm water once more. I liked peace. 

When he kissed her, it smelled like roses. One day I would have to ask about the roses. I knew she would be alright now, so I disappeared quietly outside. Cullen could help her more than I.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have literally fallen in love with Cole, Cullen, and the Herald all over again.  
> *Cries* I have to keep this short but I hate to see it over. So cute, little Cinnabun. 
> 
> Much Love,
> 
> SS


End file.
